For him. For her. For you.
Everyone feels this way at one point or another in their life. Maybe they did something wrong or they weren't praised for doing something right so they felt worthless. As humans we seek recognition, we like to know that we've done something right. We like to be looked at as being the best at something. We need validation in order to feel accomplished and accepted in this world. We need to feel valued and worthy of being here. But for some people we never get the satisfaction of being appreciated, instead we constantly fall short and feel like we're not good enough.
I've gone my whole life seeking approval from my parents. All I ever wanted was to be good enough for them. I wanted to be the best at something just so they could be proud of me but nothing I ever did was good enough to make them go "wow that's my kid". So I sought appraisal else where, in school, with my friends, with my love life but nothing ever came about. I was a terrible student, I suck at learning and I hate doing things that I'm forced to do. I was never the smart kid and I was always just an average athlete.
We moved around a lot so I couldn't make any real connections with friends. I just became the new girl at every school I went to. I don't have any talents, like I can't sing or dance or play an instrument so I couldn't impress anyone in the musical aspect. I've always been just an average girl, not ugly but not gorgeous either. Not fat but not skinny, just average, nothing special.
As I got older I just accepted that I'm just an average person and there's nothing special about me to make anyone proud. But I was cool with that. I accepted myself and loved myself for who I was. I figured I could just go through life doing whatever the hell I wanted because nobody expected anything of me. I was someone nobody cared about so what I did didn't matter. I didn't have any expectations, I could do anything and everything because nobody was watching me or judging me. I had no standards to live up to.
Then one day I fell in love, I found someone who adored me, who thought the world of me and I didn't want to disappoint him or let him down. I started to care and worry how he seen me. I started to doubt myself and hate who I was. I wanted to be better and to prove to him I was good enough. I stepped out of my comfort zone to do things I would never do because I didn't want to lose him. I wanted him to think I was the best person for him. I wanted him to be proud to have me, I wanted him to be proud of me.
The more I tried the more I disappointed. I started to feel like that little insecure girl seeking her parents approval all over again. I became sad and vulnerable, I became someone I never wanted to be. I went from not caring how people see me to caring too much. I didn't just want his approval, I wanted the worlds approval. I wanted people to see us and accept us as the perfect couple people envied but all I ever accomplished with him was how much of a failure I really am.
Love makes us do foolish things. Wanting to feel accepted and have peoples approval makes us do things we don't necessarily want to do. It's ok to want people to like you and to think highly of you but don't change who you are looking for recognition. Always be yourself and make yourself proud. Being happy is more important than having someone tell you you're amazing. You can be proud of yourself and love who you are without someone else telling you. When you do find genuine people to have in your life don't worry about trying to impress them, they're already impressed that's why they're in your life. The moment you start changing who you are and trying to do things to impress them is when you lose them and yourself.
You're not always going to be good enough for some people but to the right people you're more than enough. Never change who you are because in the end you're the one not happy. Trying to impress others just dulls your actual sparkle. Be unique, be yourself, you don't need anyone's approval in life just your own. If you're happy with yourself than nothing else in this world should matter. Always love yourself, always love what you do and always be proud of yourself. Your own acceptance is all that matters in this world. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Be proud of you!