I'm hurting cuz my heart is still bleeding
God I'm pleading these feelings are so defeating.
Im so alone im a prisoner in my home,
Only people i talk to is on a phone.
I hate being here remembering when you was here.
Cause since you left all i been Doing is failing.
Pacing back and forth yelling.
Cause now I just wanna call it done.
I have no one...
I wanna be someone i know i cant be.
Cause every version of me i hate being.
I just wanna break.
Cause no matter how much i change all I feel is this heart breaking.
I had enough... my past was hella rough and im only so tough. Ill never be alright, cause everyone I like will always leave,
i wanna give up,
go to sleep and never wake back up,
I hate it so bad cause im hurting so bad
and it so sad rememinsing on things I once had,
Tears form and start running down my face,
These feelings inside i feel I wanna erase
This bullet seems to be the only thing i wanna taste and lay waste to this life that's a waste,
but I cant cuz im stuck in the same place where everyone left me.
No one can see how much i hate being me.
Bpd? Ptsd? Naw how about i just hate being me.
more than anyone would believe.
My depression owns me...
Pain is all i can see its all i can feel.
Its sad when i find happiness I know its not real.
Cause it'll leave as quick as it came.
I just wanna go back when my life use to be fine
but i cant and no matter what it'll never be the same.
Is sad when Love feels so strange, and it'll never change.
The only time i see my loved ones is in my brain.
Im confused heart broken, beaten down and brused.
I feel so used by people and the drugs i abused.
But lets pretend im happy online with my life
As i sit here holding this stupid knife
Cause I'm so ready to end my life.
I swear i dont want you back,
As i miss when you had my back.
But now your my ex and im afraid whats to come next.
This ain't an act I dont wanna be alive and that's a fact.
God Why did everyone i love die?
Mom dad i wish you was here...
Cause its been years I been living in my fear without you here....
Your faces are all i wanna see.
Baby Brother I need you more than ever
Cause since you died I cant hold it together.
Now your all are gone forever,
Im falling apart quicker than ever,
Its hard to stay alive when all you wanna do is die.
Its why I always stayed high.
I dont know where to begin but i know where it ends.
With a knife pills or that noose?
My death won't be news cause i been dead way before i die.
Its sad when you feel like your winning when your losing again.
This is a consistent battle from within.
I aint sinking im drowning.
These thoughts in my head keep pounding
No one feels these tears running down my face,
I wanna be impaired cause in a way I'm just scared to cross that line i been wanting to cross.
In a world full of people i feel lost.
Looking for the love I lost.
I'm a soul who lost control.
But I played my role and it took its toll.
This pain i can no longer control.
This pain I can no longer hide.
So ill see you all on the other side.
Cause this way I no longer wanna die.
This way I no longer gotta hurt when i cry.
This way i no longer gotta struggle to stay alive.
So consider this poem my goodbye.